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Terrorists Say "We need to fight them over here so we don't have to go over there" |
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Written by Alan
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Saturday, 11 August 2007 |
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After years of pressure from members, Al Qaeda released previously classified documents. These documents reveal policy decisions that many terrorists have called “disturbing.” These decisions include, what some are calling the most egregious one of all, that “We need to fight them over here so we don't have to go over there.”
“As long as they are on the other side of the ocean, we will need planes to bomb them. Even if we hijack all of their commercial fleet we will still be no match for their fighter jets. Therefore, we must bring the fight to our own backyard no matter the costs.” Said Osama Bin Ladin, President of the organization in a recently declassified letter.
But some terrorists disagree. “We just want to die for Allah and hopefully take an American or two along with us, but we're realists, we're realize how far away they are, so we'll settle for an Englishman or a Spaniard. But, while we would like to terrorize Americans we would still like to be able to flush our toilets and watch Three's Company, a brilliant American comedy about a zany gay man living with his two promiscuous wives” said one terrorist who asked to remain anonymous.
However, Terrorist leadership claims “we have killed more Americans in Iraq than we ever did on 9/11 so the policy is obviously a success.”
The documents also proclaim “we are at war, yet many suicide bombers are unwilling to make sacrifices. Many of them feel that America is too far away to attack, many terrorists don't even believe that we are at war, many feel that we should just sit back and wait for the bombs detonate themselves. Well, I'm not going to let that happen, not on my watch, on my watch we're going to fight them over here, so we don't have to go over there. We'll see what terrorists think when the Americans are marching down our streets, knocking down our doors and raiding our houses. They'll be more than willing to blow themselves up then.”
Yet still, more moderate terrorists claim that, while, now they simply have to respond to the biggest attack on Terrorists since the Crusades, that was no reason to escalate the conflict.
Some terrorist even maintain that they may be to blame saying “We need to stop and think here, what is it about ourselves and our behavior that makes us want to blow them up?” However, Terrorist leaders dismiss this notion as “absurd” saying “why should we care about why we want to blow them up? We are at war, and we can't pull out of this conflict now, the stakes are too high so we must show resolve, plus, we don't have to travel very far to kill them.”
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Last Updated ( Tuesday, 06 May 2008 )
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